Asking My Opinion Rarely Leads To Happiness

Ok, so this isn’t so much a direct question as I was asked to weigh in on this article, 12 Reasons Homosexual Marriage Will Wreck The Nation, by a friend who said,

“Verbiage such as this makes Christians look like a bunch of ignorant paranoid hicks. It also puts people off of God, faith, and the church. There are LGBT couples who are more stable and healthy than most straight WASPS. 

However, I did forward the article to Emily Dixon. Emily is a Christian educator at the collegiate level. Additionally, she is a published author and speaker on Christian Sexuality. I can't wait to see what her take on this is.”

Well, you know the old saying, “Don’t ask for my opinion if you really don’t want it”? I think this is going to be a great example of why we would need such a warning. 

First off, the article is well footnoted with links to supporting articles and historic examples. Kudos to Dr. McDurmon for doing the dirty work that so many of us like to eschew in favor simply spouting our opinions – something of which I am guilty. 

Secondly, I am not in full agreement with each conclusion or, more appropriately, share the same concern if this happens to be the outcome. However, my variance is slight.  

1. Wholesale Revision of Every State’s Family Law, and Related Matters.

This is an unavoidable and logical conclusion to the legal acceptance of Homosexual marriage. When we change what the legal definition of what something is then the laws must be brought into agreement with the new definition. Some laws will only be altered slightly, however, other laws will be radically changed. As I do not have a law degree, I will leave speculation for those better qualified.

2. Closure of Christian and Other Religious Adoption Agencies.

This is happening and the author shares two articles documenting it in Chicago and Boston. Nothing to argue here. 

3. Preaching Against Homosexuality and Counseling of Homosexuals Likely Would Be Prohibited.

Again, already in the works as anything – even the quotation of a Scripture verse is being called hate speech in public circles. Don’t believe me, check out my Facebook page. Sweden and Canada have already declared that the Biblical teaching against homosexuality is hate speech and worthy of jail time. So as Dr. McDumon included the qualifier “likely”, I do not see what there is to argue with.

4. Churches and Others Would Lose Exemption from Federal Income Tax.

Yeah, this is pretty much an unavoidable fact on our horizon. I think it is time we pretty much accept it as a forgone conclusion and prepare our church budgets to take the hit. On the upside, no one will be able to gripe about the church getting special treatment any more. I don’t think this is a bad thing if we are wise about it. Unfortunately, most churches won’t be and a lot of them will be closing their doors. 

5. Legalization of Multiple-Partner and Incestuous Marriages.

People’s objection against this one always amuses me – it’s like there is this line in the sand for even most of the LGBT community where they can point and say, “Oh, I will violate these Biblical statutes, but not those.” Why? I mean, if you are going to start moving the line why stop there? 

Honestly, the only real argument for homosexuality is “this makes me feel happy/fulfilled/and affirmed as a person.” (Why one would feel this way is irrelevant since the Bible is pretty big on denying one’s self. I feel fulfilled after eating an entire chocolate cake, still doesn’t make gluttony all right or less sinful.) If you can justify casting aside on boundary revealed in the Bible, then the next step is to cast off any of the rest that get in the way of personal fulfillment and affirmation. 

And we cannot say that there are not people who believe that happiness is found in relationships that include multiple partners and there are various articles that affirm the right of any adult to have any sexual relationship they desire, including incestuous ones. To deny this is to lack the faculties to read or properly utilize Google.   

6. People of Biblical Faith Would be Driven from Public Office.

Okay, this is going to happen. I don’t think it is the right response to the situation and I think that a lot of Christians are going to be playing the role of martyr by claiming to be driven out of public office. We still have to be in the world, and we have to function within the world. Simply doing ones job such filing paperwork on a marriage license is not the same as offering approval of the marriage. 

7. A Coarsening of Civil Society.

Yes. However, it is the job of parents to help create a tender and responsive heart in their children while also teaching them to deal with issues of society without fear or flinching. The coarsening of civil society does not mandate that we lose all influence in our homes or community. It simply means that we must actively deal with issues we have been content to ignore as “they don’t affect me” has been our excuse to remain ignorant. 

8. Mandates on Businesses to Cater to Homosexual Couples.

Again, already documented as happening. I am divided on this issue as I personally think privately owned business should be able to turn away business that they feel does not reflect their values. It has been going on for a long time, whether it be restaurants with dress codes or flea markets that ask the Jehovah Witnesses to leave. The only difference is this has been touted as a civil rights issue for the LGBT community instead of private ownership and freedom of religion and speech issue. It’s all about the slant.

However, if I had bakery, I would have baked the cake with a smile and taken their money. Because I believe excellent workmanship and customer service is a witness to the community. 

9. Professional Licensing Requirements to Serve Homosexual Couples.

And once again, already documented as happening. Now here is my question, if a lawyer can refuse to defend a murderer they know is guilty as it is a violation of their ethics or conscience, why would not the same rule apply here? And why would you want someone who disagreed with your lifestyle to defend you in court when they could easily throw you under the bus? The same for medical services, really, it does not make sense, unless your intent is to be provoking. 

10. Undermining the Created Male-Female Order.

Yes. However, Christians should bear in mind that this order only applies to those of us who claim to live our lives under the authority of Scripture. We have no right to chastise or correct anyone who does not claim to share our faith. When we try to impose our rules on those who do not respect the source of those rules, we wind up with deservedly bad press.  

11. Loss of Liberty.

I get where he is going, but to build the case with finality would be cumbersome task. It is enough to look at the examples furnished by Dr. McDurmon and note that every society who has embraced homosexuality did indeed abandon any ideas of equality or social justice. A fact that should not surprise anyone since homosexuality is ultimately about satisfying a selfish desire. 

12. God’s Judgment on the Nation.

Yeah, God isn’t big on being disrespected and there will be a price. However, I think the penalty will be far more severe because we have had the audacity to claim that we are a Christian nation while engaging in things that are not very Christian. Please note, I am not saying that this is all going to happen because some people happened to be gay. I am saying it will happen because we all screwed up whether it was in our greed and gluttony, the backbiting and slanderous gossip we all love, or the lazy entitlement attitude that cultivate to an art form. Oh, no, we cannot pin this on anyone group of people when we all shared in the demise of our country. 

We have all created an image of God in our minds that allows to condemn one party while excusing our pet sins. We have said God hates homosexuality and then cheated on our taxes because "God understands." Uhm, no, he doesn't and he's not happy about it. Maybe if all of us who claimed to be Christians started doing what we told instead of what was easier or felt good, the rest of the world might get to see how amazing our God is. Until then, put down your stones. 

Finally, allow me to add this. 

When we speak of marriage we need to start delineating between two separate and distinct entities. One is a government sponsored contract between two individuals. The other is religious sacrament and a God sanctioned covenant between a man and a woman. We should consider very carefully if we want to blur that line between church and state. For if the church can dictate to the state what marriage is, what prevents the tide from turning and allowing the state to dictate to the church the definition of this union? 

I personally believe we should guard that dividing wall between the church and state. It is my belief that recognition of state document of marriage should not be regarded as a sacrament, nor should the sacrament be devalued to the point of a contractual obligation. I recognize that this takes a far greater faith in God, to believe that his will can and will be done without the aid of the government mandates. I also recognize that for many this is leap of faith that is far too great as their faith has been sponsored by God but placed in legislation. 

Ever wonder if that is why he allowed this shake up? I have. 

Please recognize this post has been a response to a question and does not fully reflect my views on these issues. To learn more, check out this link.When Our Faith Offends

A Second Hand Question - Natural Revelation and Multiple Religions

“I believe in God but how come there are so many different religions to believe in? Like how could anyone really be living for the wrong god if they grew up believing in something else, and they have no clue about anything else. Like atheist, and stuff..just because you hear about another religion and people saying it the way to live doesn’t mean they’re going to live that way.”

A friend of mine tagged me in response to this Facebook status, and due to the original author’s privacy settings I was unable to respond directly. So I guess this is a secondhand reader question. I decided to answer in this way so that our mutual friend can share my response with the writer, and I know that this is a common question among believers and non-believers alike.

First, there are several questions being presented here, so let’s divide them up for easier handling. I am also going to arrange them in order of what I consider to be importance.

Q.) “Like how could anyone really be living for the wrong god if they grew up believing in something else, and they have no about anything else(?)”

A.) This was a question that has bothered me since I was old enough to know that people might not hear the message of the Jesus, and I wrestled with it for a long time. It did not seem fair to me that God would punish someone for something they were never taught or saw in their culture.
The problem with this view is that we are limiting God’s power to speak to whomever he wishes however he wishes. We are saying that God can only reveal himself if men and women speak on his behalf, but there are so many accounts that show that God will make himself known to those who really desire to know him.

One famous example is Helen Keller who was blind and deaf from the age of two. After she learned to communicate she was introduced to Phillips Brooks who wrote about their conversation. Keller told him that she always knew who God was and that he was there with her in the silence and darkness. She did not have a name or the proper *Christian* words to use for her experience, but when she was told about Jesus she knew that he was the one who had been with her at this time.

There is another story of the Druids in Ireland who upon hearing the message of the first Christian missionaries declared that they could now end their search for the name of the God they had been seeking. The Romans built an idol to an unknown God as they knew there was a God greater than any they served, and they desired to honor him even if they could not identify him.

Paul address this in his letter to the Romans:

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith as it is written, ‘The righteous shall live by faith.’ For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness suppresses truth.  For what can be known about God is plain to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world in things that have been made. So they are without excuse.” 1:16-20

Now I know that is a big chunk of dense Scripture, so let me break it down a little. To me it means that if any of us stopped and really looked at this amazing world that we live in, we would see the evidence of our Creator. And we would not only see that he created a home for us, but he cared about us enough to make it home of beauty and to contain things simply for our pleasure and delight. (Can you say “chocolate”? Beautiful sunsets? The cool breeze on a hot day? The list of the good things he has given us can go on and on.) We might not know his name, but we would know something of his heart for us. We could see it and love him even without being told his story. And as our hearts opened in faith to seek him, we would be come to know him more fully despite the fact that no one told us who he is.

I think this is what happened with Helen Keller – she discerned his presence and she trusted him in the darkness. I think in doing so she learned to recognize him so completely that when Phillips Brooks described Jesus to her she knew he could be describing no one else than the God who had been with her all this time. I think God honored her desire to know him even before she knew his name, and I think God would honor that in anyone who had never been told of his story. Which leads us to the next question.

Q.) “Just because you hear about another religion and people saying it the way to live doesn’t mean they’re going to live that way.”

A.) You are absolutely right. I have studied so many religions trying to understand this world, and I have yet to hear of a new one that even begins to draw me away from the faith I grew up with.

So what would cause someone to change their faith just by hearing about a new religion such as Christianity?

I believe it happens when the people have had a faith in the God their hearts knew to be the real God and we make the introduction. Just like Helen Keller, we share the story of Jesus and they recognize that this is the God they truly want to serve in their hearts. The understand the limitations and shortcoming of the faith they had known before and recognize Christianity as the complete answer to their questions and desire to know God more fully.

Q.) I believe in God but how come there are so many different religions to believe in?

To answer this question completely would require that I write a book or ten. The answer is found in history and cultures that were isolated from the message of Christianity, and in the fact that some people will never accept the truth of the Bible. Some people want to think they can exist without God, that science and reason can answer all the questions of their hearts and close off their hearts to him. Some have intentionally created new religions in order to have a god that will allow them to serve themselves and justify their evil intents. Some people have deliberately deceived others saying that God has spoken to them and used this as a way to get power and prestige.

It is popular today to say that all religions are the same and all religions really serve God. Many people believe that it does not matter which religion you claim as long as you believe in a higher power, but the Bible rejects that claim – as do all other religions, because all religions claim that they are the one true religion and deny the rewards of their faith to anyone who does not follow them.
Once we have been told of the Jesus and his sacrifice for us, we have a choice – to believe and accept Him as the Truth or to reject Him as a lie. There is no in between.

I truly hope this answers your questions or, at least, gives you a starting point to begin seeking out more better and fuller answers to your questions. I confess there are many who could answer this far more eloquently and plainly than I.

An Angry God, and Other Things We Don't Like To Think About

“Now, let me be, that my anger may blaze forth against them and that I may destroy them” 

 - God (Exodus 32:10a)

Sometimes I think I should start making Christian motivational posters using all the neglected verses. Like this one that you never see hanging on a wall with a picture of sunsets or the children kissing flowers. Why not? Because the image of an angry God stands at odds with our how we like to envision and define him.

We don’t like to think of God as angry or capable of destructive wrath. We want him to be a God of love and tender mercies. We want him healing the sick, blessing the poor, and stroking our hair while he tells everything is going to be all right.

If we have to think of God as angry and prone to violence, we try to frame it in our mind as the response to an exceptionally wicked event. We can almost get behind him smiting the evil sinners – the murders, rapists, and child molesters. Those people surely deserve his wrath, but to us, he will always be the God of Love and love offered with no conditions or boundaries or requirements for we are none of those evil things. We are his children, and we want to believe that he will forever be soothing our nerves and quieting our fears for that is a God easy to embrace.

The thing is that verse – the one that says he wants to destroy *them*- it is talking about his children. You know? The ones he had just literally poured out a river of blood for. The ones that he loved enough to kill every Egyptian first born to save. The ones that he had parted the Red Sea for so that they could pass safely into his provision, and most importantly, his presence.

It would be easy to try and scramble for an excuse for why God would say such a thing. We go back the passage that this verse came from and sigh with relief as we learn that this is a response to the people of Israel worshipping the golden calf. I mean, really how much danger are we in at transgressing that particular little hang up of God? I know I have never been tempted to build an idol nor do I have the means to make one, so I must be safe, right?

I would not be so quick to draw that conclusion. You see a lot of us read this passage and we think that the sin is in the worshipping of a false god, some Egyptian bull deity that they learned of in their time of bondage. We think the sin is bowing before a golden image, and failing to give him their undivided adoration.

The thing is that is not what the problem was, at least, not at the heart of it. Had he told them not to make graven images? Yes. Were they doing exactly what they had been told not to do? Absolutely, but have you ever wondered why he gave such a command and why breaking it angered him so greatly that he was willing to wipe the entire fledgling nation of Israel over what in the grand scheme of things seems to be such a minor infraction of the rules when compared to the wickedness of the nations that surrounded them? Nations that practiced temple prostitution? Nations that offered up their children on bloody alters? Nations involved in witchcraft and necromancy? What is it about this sin that is so heinous to a holy God?

The answer is found in the request for the idol. The people go to Aaron and say:

“Up, make for us gods who shall go before us. As for Moses, this man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.” Exodus 32:1

A bigger clue is found Aaron’s presentation of the golden calf:

“These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt…Tomorrow shall be a feast to the LORD.” Exodus 32: 5b, 6a

Now either these people are dumber than a box of rocks and their memories are so flawed that they can remember the multiple miracles done on their behalf, or there is something going on here that we have often overlooked.

Look at the way the word LORD is written in verse 6. Go check your Bible, if it is a recent translation, you will find what I have recorded here. It will be written in all capital letters. This is not an accident or a mistake, it is a clue that translators have included for us. Any time you find this writing of the word LORD, it indicates that this is the divine name of God as given to Moses at the burning bush.

Even the words here in these verses is the Hebrew term Elohim, another name for God. A plural of honor to convey the truth that he is far greater than any single god could ever be. It is the title used of God in Genesis 1 as he creates the earth and places too many to recount here.

Note the description given to this God of the Golden Calf, he is the one who brought them out of the land of Egypt. The text is very clear, this is not some foreign god or alternative to the God who saved them this is the one and true God who even as they feasted before the calf hovered over the mountain where Moses met with him to seek guidance for this people.

It is true that they defied God’s command in making the calf, but it is also true that they were doing the best to honor this strange and unpredictable God in the only way they knew how. They looked at the rules and they thought to themselves, “This does not make sense. We don’t know how to worship a God who we cannot see, who refuses to appeal to our senses, or offers the comfort of his tangible presence in our lives. This could not be what he really meant. Certainly, it is better that we worship in the only way know how than to be alone in this desert.” So they took matters into their own hands and the tried to make God a little less frightening, a little less overwhelming, and a little less unreasonable.

The sin was not that they failed to worship the one true God. Their sin was in their attempts to define him in terms that allowed them to be more comfortable with his presence. The calf was image they knew and set them at ease as it was part of their lives before encountering this God who uprooted them from all they had known. The calf did not demand that they allowed God to be bigger than their own imaginations or leave them at the mercy of a God they could not define.

If we were brave enough to be honest, this is what we have all done at one time or another. God’s commands didn’t make sense. They defied logic, scientific data, and accepted social norms. We convinced ourselves that he couldn’t really mean what he said, or that he wrote it for someone other than ourselves. Surely, worshipping him in the best way we know how is better than being alone in this desert called life, or so we reason in our heart.

The problem is our finite human imaginations will never be big enough to even come close to an image of God that does him justice. When we try to define him according to our terms he will always end up as lifeless and unresponsive as a chunk of metal, and he is only as beautiful and awe inspiring as we our thoughts can handle with ease and comfort.

And while this god of our creation gives us all the soothes with his reasonable demands, allows us to blend with society, and acts as a talisman against the evils of this world, that god will never be able to love us to maturity, to challenge us to grow in wisdom or grace towards others. That god will never inspire us to dream a dream bigger than ourselves or seek out more than our own pleasure.

The people danced before their idol, and they thought themselves holy and righteous for doing so. Today we dance before idols not seen upon a pedestal, but elevated in our hearts so that we do not have to fear the God we cannot define. The true God will never submit to such limitations, and he does not lower himself to cater to our whims or comfort, because he knows that ultimately, we need the challenge and security found in the God worthy of so much more.

When Jenner's Story Collides With Mine

As I am wont to do, I started a firestorm on Facebook once again. (If you are enjoying the blog, you might also enjoy following me there and joining in our discussions.) The whole thing started first with a post I shared on the proper response to Bruce, now Caitlyn, Jenner. In the course of discussion, the topic of the accountability of a believer was brought up, and yeah, I was the *guilty* party.

The back story for those of you who were not a part of the original discussion began as a discussion on whether Jenner’s story should have been handled in such a public manner. As Jenner was already a celebrity long before this issue hit the press, I do not see how keeping it private was an option, particularly since the paparazzi had already outed him long before he made his public statements. Given that, I can see why he chose to do the original Diane Sawyer interview, but I will always have a problem with semi-pornographic images on the magazine covers to promote sales, so I have a problem with the Vanity Fair spread which I consider to be nothing but a play for attention.

Now, if this was all I knew about Jenner I would have kept walking. People have the right to freedom of speech, celebrity news will always be news, and I have no say in the decisions that other people make unless I help pay their bills – and as I can barely pay my own that narrows the field considerably. Except for one little thing, Jenner claims to be a Christian.

This one little fact changes the game, and now Jenner’s story affects my story giving me the right to chime in. Please note, I did not ask for this right nor did I seek it out. In my previous post on Jenner, you will find that I addressed my brothers and sisters in Christ and not Jenner, but that was before I knew he claimed to be my brother/sister. (And for clarification, at the time that post was written Jenner had requested to be referred to as Bruce.)

However, this also raises several questions:

1. What right/obligation do we have to discipline a member of the body?
2. Who decides which issues warrant Church discipline?
3. How is discipline administered today?
4. Where does grace and mercy come into play?

And really, these questions just hit the high points of what is a seriously complicated issue. Let’s just acknowledge that upfront.

The first question is easy to answer as Paul dealt with in these passages:

As for you my brothers, do not grow weary in well doing. If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed. Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother. 2 Thessalonians 3:14, 15

I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people – not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and the swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler – not to even eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging the outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? Purge the evil person from among you. 1 Corinthians 5: 9-12

And really, the second question is answered within the last text – sexually immoral, greedy, idolater, reviler (one who speaks abusively), drunkard, and swindler. I love it when the Bible just lays it out there for us, and I think there are a few of these things on the list we should really start paying attention to as we seem to have forgotten everything written here except sexual immorality. And when we do remember, let’s be honest, we only apply it issues such as homosexuality, transgender, and abusive situations outside of marriage while giving adultery and premarital sex a free pass and excuse abuse within marriages – not Scriptural, and not cool.

Is this judgment? Yes, but it is judgement exercised withing the Scriptural ordain realm for believers.

Which brings us to question 3 –

Dear Lord, I wish I knew the answer to this one, but the truth is we Christians have made one big heaping mess out of this thing called Church. There is little to no unity between bodies and, frankly, little cohesion within most of our bodies. Trying to invoke discipline is pretty much pointless, as people who get mad at one church just pack their bags and go the one on the next block.

So does this mean we just roll over and play dead when one of our brothers or sisters is living a life that is contrary to Scriptural mandates, not at all! Rather, I believe that this is where we confront in love and with a broken heart those areas with hope of restoration and healing.

And this plays into question 4 –

I don’t think it is a valid rebuke if there is no compassion in the rebuke. Correction offered with a sense of smug superiority is not the point and runs counter to what Paul is saying. In fact, correction with the wrong heart makes us that reviler and abusive, and therefore warranting the same type of correction we are trying to dole out.

As a personal check, I never approach anyone unless my heartaches over what they are doing to the body or to themselves. A few years ago, a good friend who is active in ministry was involved in some blatant violations of Scripture. The specifics do matter, so don’t ask. It killed me to tell her that I could not be a part of what she was doing because both she and I knew it was wrong. It meant that I had to withdraw my support from her ministry and discontinue her involvement in mine. I made the promise to her that I was there for her at any time she wished to address these issues in her life and would walk with her if she chose to walk away from these things. The memory of it all still stings, and I am still praying that she will make the honorable choice because I miss my friend.

However, I am clinging to these words:

Now if anyone has caused pain, he has not caused it to me, but in some measure – not to put it too severely – to all of you. For such a one this punishment by the majority is enough. So you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him.  2 Corinthians 2:5-8

My brothers if one among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wanderings will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins. James 5:19, 20

Did you catch that phrase at the end of the first passage? “Reaffirm your love for him.” That is the one element that I am not seeing in this whole debate. Where is our love for our brother? Real love, not just a blasé acceptance, but love. The concern for what he is doing to himself, and I am not even talking about the surgeries, I am talking about the wounds to his heart and soul that motivates us to keep loving even as we speak the truth. Because real doesn’t hide the truth from another, it calls it like it is holds accountable for our actions so that we might learn to make better choices. It walks with us through the process of healing and doesn’t shy away from our wounds.

But in all there is the need for balance, because real love doesn’t nag and it doesn’t berate us until we can’t emotionally function. It knows when to back off and give us space so that God has clean shot at our hearts. Love knows when to set a boundary that says, “I will not condone or support what you are doing, and so I can’t be a part of this destructive spiral. I am still here for you, all you have to do is call, and I will be there. But while you work this out, I am going to stay out of your way and respect you enough to make your choices but I will not be a party to you hurting yourself or the body of Christ.”

Learning that balance may be one of the hardest things we will do as believers. It is so much easier to get mad and feel righteously indignant over it claiming that we defending our God, but the truth is we were never called to defend God. We were called to proclaim truth, show love, and to shake the dust from our feet when that message is rejected.

Or we find ourselves tempted to fall to the other extreme where love becomes unqualified acceptance of every behavior in an attempt to avoid being harsh and judgmental. We convince ourselves that love would never walk away, it would never call another’s actions bad or evil, and that it would never place consequences on those behaviors. However, when we do this we are neglecting to honor the fact that God is holy and he has called us to be holy, and that means we cannot give even our tacit approval to those things that he calls evil by allowing them to happen in his bride, the Church.

Frankly, this is why I think there is not clear cut answer to that third question. We have neglected the call to holiness because the call to love is far easier. We have chased numbers for our pews and church reports without making disciples. We have pandered to people’s desire for community and acceptance but not ministered to the issues of their hearts. We have treated Church attendance as an equal substitute for an encounter and relationship with our Lord. We have created an entire culture who claim the title without submitting to the authority of Scripture because they were never taught the necessity for it, and in doing so portrayed God as a liar.

As Christians, we made this mess first within our churches and then in world by failing to be a witness of the life changing power of knowing God. It is time we stopped bellyaching about having to clean it up, and just get in there and do the work.

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God Is A Liar - An Emily Rant For My So Called Christian Friends

It is very popular right now to say that you are a Christian. However, just saying that isn’t enough to let you win the contest. You have to add the proper caveats. You have to affirm that Jesus was all about love and peace and forgiveness. You have tell how you aren’t the kind of Christian who judges anyone and that we all have our individual paths to follow in this journey of faith. You have clarify that you do not take the Bible literally or that you are not foolish enough to believe the decrees of an archaic book addresses the social issues of our age. And if you really want to take first place, you have to say it with a bit of scorn for those who do.

Now, I am going say few things that are not all that popular, things that will make me appear foolish to my more sophisticated and enlightened brothers and sister, things that won’t win me any ribbons at that politically correct pageant of faith, and I am going to say them without apology or concern for winning any congeniality prizes.

The god worshipped by those who add all those proper caveats is not the God of the Bible. No matter how much we want to believe it, it simply cannot be true. Somewhere along the way we have bought into the lie that God is all about our happiness and personal fulfillment. We have defined him as the God of Love, Peace, and Joy and cannot imagine him as anything bigger or greater than a God who adheres to our definitions of what love, peace, and joy are supposed to be.

The thing is when we start serving a God that we have defined, even if that definition is based on our favorite Bible verses, we really aren’t serving him. We are serving ourselves. When we start saying that the things I like and the things that make me feel good are the only things he wants us to have, we aren’t let him be Lord.

Like it or not, God isn’t all that concerned with the things you like or even the things that make you feel good, because believe it or not your hurt feelings aren’t the highest thing on his list of priorities. They only rate number one on your list which might be a reason to ask, who are you really serving? God or the god of your emotions?

But, but, but, someone is whining, Jesus was all rainbows and butterflies. He love, peace, and harmony. He wants me to be happy and find personal fulfillment in how he created me.

Uhm, no. He wasn’t and he didn’t, at least not at the cost of truth. He even told us that – I mean, he literally spoke the words telling us that this is a false idea. And we would know that if we ever read anything other than Christian motivational poster and internet memes. Consider these verses: (And while you’re at it, you might want to flip on over to chapter 10, because he gets even more hardcore in that passage.)

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man to if gains the whole world and loses his life? Or what shall a man give in return for his life?” Matthew 16: 24-26

Do you see the words there? Deny yourself. Deny what you are, what you want, what you think is going to bring you joy – deny it. Take up your cross. This doesn’t mean go out and buy some gaudy necklace, or slapping some pious sticker on your car. A cross wasn’t a thing of beauty it was a torture device that ended in death, and you need to pick yours up, and follow him. And where did that path lead? To Golgotha, the hill of the skull, a mountain drenched in the blood, urine, and feces of those who died there. Does this sound like rainbows and butterflies to you?

Sure you can reach out and have your best life now. You can discover who you really and live that life to the fullest, but if you truly believe that Jesus is Lord then you have to accept that following that path means you will eventually lose everything you gain for yourself. Why? Because everything that owes its existence to flesh will die with the flesh, and this is why who you are must not be the creation of your inborn fleshly desires. The flesh cannot create the eternal, and the eternal owes nothing to efforts of the flesh. Paul put this way:

So then brothers we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. . .and if children, then heirs – heirs of God and coheirs with Christ provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. Romans 8:12-14,17

The problem is we have a lot people who are calling themselves Christian and never denying themselves one thing, never putting to death the deeds of the body so that they might live by the Spirit. And there are some of you who are reading this and shaking your heads yes, agreeing with all that I have said while pointing your finger at the other guy, and almost yelling, “I know who she is talking about!”

The truth is I am talking about us all, because each and every one of us has some area of our lives where we have ignored God’s command to eradicate certain behaviors or ideas. Some of us have reasoned our way around Scripture, citing science and progress as a vindication for ignoring his commands. Some of us have equated love with placating and appeasement, so that we can declare that a God of Love would never ask us to know the pain of trying to change who we are. Some of us have just dressed up our pet sin as a morality so that we can still enjoy a sense of smug superiority while being jerk to the rest of the world.

Look, trusting in God means trusting in everything he said. If we start picking and choosing which of his words we are willing to believe or cast aside based on our delicate sensibilities, we are doing nothing more than calling God a liar. We are saying that I am smarter, wiser, and more loving than God ever was – and if knowing that does not cause you to tremble, you need to check your faith because it is not what you say it is and you are not who you say you are.

The child of a true King does not dishonor him before the world, the child of a great King does not try invalidate his Father’s words, and the child who truly loves his Father will not betray that love through persistent disobedience, even if you supposedly have a great excuse. So tell the world that you like some of the pretty bits of his book, tell them how there are some great moral and ethical teachings to be found in the Christian faith, explain why you have a certain fondness for our ideas, but if you are not actively working to follow his demands to deny yourself, to put to death the deeds of the body, stop lying to yourself and the rest of the world.

And, yes, he is the God of Love but a love so big, so grand, that it compels us to become more than we were so that we might receive it and live it. Who we are, as we are, will never be big enough to do that, and that is why demands so much, and yet so little, from us.

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Why I Told My Four Year Old About Condoms - It's Scriptural

“Mama, what is a condom?”

We were at a family member’s house when my four year old daughter decided that she needed to ask this question right now.

The family member, without missing a beat, said, “It’s condominium. It’s a place to live. We just call it an apartment.” My daughter looked puzzled and suspicious, but the family member kept smiling in an assuring manner.

I shot the family member a look, turned to my daughter, and said, “It’s something people use when they are trying not to have babies.”

“Oh,” my daughter said and returned to her Nutella sandwich.

It was the family member’s turn to shoot me a look and indicate that we should leave the room for a moment. I was pretty sure what was going to happen, and I was right.

“Don’t tell that baby that!” she said as the door closed between us and the kids. “She’s too young to know about stuff like that!”

“Evidently not, she asked and I am not going to lie to my children,” I stated. “And it’s not like I gave her the banana demonstration.”

This was just one of the many questions I got asked as parent, and one of the many times I found myself bucking the trend among my conservative Christian family and friends about how I answered them. I decided early in life that I was not going to raise my kids the way so many of my peers and I were raised. That is I was not going to raise them in a Christian bubble that denied or avoided all the ugly out there in the world in an attempt to protect my children’s innocence.

Several things lead me to this decision: My own experience in a marriage where my now ex-husband’s sexual practices were so foreign to me that I did not know how to cope. The number of “good Christian kids” who were first stunned, then shaken, and then embracers of values new and exotic that they discovered when they left their parents’ home, and the large number of these kids who became victims of abuse because they were not prepared to deal with real world.

It was not an easy decision. Friends and family could not understand why I would be so frank with my children about the hard realities of this world, and they were not shy in telling me that I was screwing my kids up by telling them these things. “They are just children,” “They are little girls,” “Babies don’t need to hear that”, or “I can’t believe you told her that” were constant refrains in my life. Nor did the girls make it any easier because they did something that few kids are willing to do to their parents – they asked me the hard questions, and the questions just kept getting harder as they grew older because they knew they could trust me to give them an honest answer.

I won’t lie. It wasn’t always easy and there were times that I had to fight not to flinch. Like the one night my daughter calmly asked, “Is anal sex what you do when you are on your period?” I had to take a deep breath and remind myself that I was the cool mom – and try not to choke on the fish we were having for dinner. (In the meantime, Ty has fallen out of his chair and had small seizure in the dining room floor.) Turns out that the cafeteria conversation among the thirteen year olds at school had revolved around this topic that I was blissfully oblivious to until I was twenty one and married.

So why did I do it? Even when it was one of the most difficult and unpopular things I have ever done in my life?

I never allowed myself to think of my children as “little girls”. They were young women who just happened to be little girls at that time. My job was never to keep them in that state or to hold them in some type of stasis. In fact, my job was the exact opposite of this. My job was to help them become women who could handle whatever the world had to offer them and help them not flinch when confronted by those realities that I could not protect them from indefinitely. Talking about these things at home, where it was safe, where they could consider different and opposing views without outside pressure or threats, where they could ask why this or that was contrary to our faith, or why it might be a danger physically or emotionally, gave them the room to determine their course of action before someone else could present a counter-argument that just made mom look like a naïve relic.

I, also, believe that this is a Scriptural approach to parenting. Stop and consider these verses:

Therefore impress these My words upon your very heart: bind them as a sign on your hand and let them serve as a symbol on your forehead, and teach them to your children – reciting them when you stay at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you get up; and inscribe them on the doorposts of your house and one your gates – to the end  that you and your children may endure, in the land that the LORD swore to your fathers to assign to them as long as there is a heaven over the earth. Deuteronomy 11:18-21

What were these words? The Torah, otherwise known as the first five books of the Hebrew Scriptures! The laws that God handed down to Moses on Siani, the ones that recorded the history of the Jewish people with all the sex and violence that anyone could want, the ones the described proper sexual expressions, how to deal with bodily fluids, rape, incest, homosexuality, witchcraft, death, burial, childbirth, and so much more! Teaching the Bible, really teaching it and not just doing a cute flannel graph presentation of it, means that we talk about the hard issues with our kids.

I know someone is reading this thinking, “But our lessons need to be age appropriate!” Really? Your ideas of age appropriate or God’s?

Jewish custom dictates that children should begin learning Torah as soon as they can speak, and by the age of 13 they are responsible for fulfilling all the laws contained in the Torah. Now, how can they fulfill what they do not know? And remember we are not talking about the Ten Commandments, we are talking about the entirety of Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy – not something you are going to cram into a six month crash course. This is why formal training in the Torah began at the age of five.

And we should consider the example of Jesus in Luke 2:41-52 when he was found at the Temple asking questions of the teachers and amazing them with his understanding and answers. What would the standard conversation have been between the teachers and boy of twelve? It would have been about the Torah, double checking to see if his parents had been faithful in their obligation as presented in Deuteronomy. Luke specifically tells us that Jesus was growing/filled in wisdom, both before and after this passage, and in rabbinic debate we find that to be wise was to be “wise in Torah.”

Now this is where I could get lost in a big long lesson about how each part of the Bible hinges on another and that cutting and pasting the pretty parts together while ignoring the messy bits leaves us with nothing but fluff that will not sustain our faith. I won’t, at least not here, but I could and so could anyone who took the time to really study the totality of its message.

Unfortunately, this is what we have done for our kids and we wonder why their faith crumbles the moment they leave home. The issues addressed in the Bible were meant to be taught in the safe and loving environment of the home. They were not to be ignored because they make parents uncomfortable. They weren’t to be skipped over in favor stories that we can give the Precious Moment treatment – no! We are to discuss it all, and when we do we will find that there is no modern issue of sex that is left unaddressed. All the answers and tools our children need to make wise decisions is right there, but if we are shielding our kids from it then we do them a disservice in offering a form of religion without the substance of wisdom.

Furthermore, we need to remember that these words were not given in a sexual vacuum. Quite the contrary, with temple prostitution, the small cramped houses, the agrarian lifestyles, sex was at the center of the ancient world. Daily families would have been confronted by the need to teach wisdom and truth their children concerning this issue. Thankfully, God gave them the means to do so in His Word, and notice what you don't find, you don't find any commands to deny reality or to hide the truth from your children. Instead we are told to discuss these things at every waking moment and teach them to guard their hearts, a command that I believe encompasses the need to guard their trust in our integrity and courage by speaking even the uncomfortable truths. (Proverbs 4:20-27, A passage written by a father to a son and is followed by blunt discussion over the dangers of adultery.)

This is why I don’t worry about the news stories or what TV shows. In our home, they were just an opportunity to dive deeper into what the Bible had to teach us about sex and sexuality. We turned what is tearing so many families apart into a springboard for what brought us closer together, and my children learned three significant lessons from this approach – 1. God is not ashamed or confused by sexual issues. 2. There are answers to be found in His Word. 3. They can always come to me with the hard questions and I won’t flinch because the God I serve doesn’t flinch.

Together we can seek out the answers and there is no shame in having the question or need to fear a world that does not share our faith.

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Readers' Questions About Charlie, Charlie

This morning the world learned that the “Charlie, Charlie” game has been nothing more than an elaborate marketing ploy for an upcoming movie, and those who scoffed at the game are sure to be wallowing the glee of vindication. However, this raises a few questions for the Christians who issued warnings against playing it, and it raises even more questions for those who did play and believe they had some sort of supernatural experience through two pencils and piece of paper.

First off, let me state that I believe in demons and that they are active and present in this world. I believe for two reasons: 1.) My Bible told me so, and 2.) I have had some experience in that realm. In other words, I am incredibly and unapologetically biased. With this in mind, let’s dive right in.

Q. Can this possibly been used to contact real demons if it was simply a marketing ploy?

Simple answer – Yes.

Longer answer – What we need to bear in mind is that demons are not waiting for an engraved invitation to wreak havoc in our lives. In fact, they are eagerly waiting for an excuse to mess with us. They don’t care if you are calling them by their specific name, using the proper spell or ritual, or if you even realize that you have opened the door for them. They just want in your life.
So how do they know they can come in? Two ways, which ultimately boil down to one way, but I will make the distinction for clarities sake.

1.) You actively seek out an experience with the demonic. This can take several forms such as Ouija board, tarot cards, astrology, “Bloody Mary”, “Candy Man”, “Light as Feather”, and “Charlie, Charlie.”

The first three items are on the list because they are forms of divination, and divination is nothing more than seeking out hidden knowledge from a source other than God. Aside from the fact he said don’t do this, it is also a clear demonstration of a lack of faith. It is telling God that we do not believe he will take care of us or inform of the things we need to know. It is placing our desire for information above our desire to guard the relationship we have with him.

If you think this scenario sounds familiar, you are right. It was first played out by Adam and Eve as they listened to the words of a snake and sought out knowledge apart from the God who created them and walked by their sides in the garden. We will never know what might have happened if they had taken their questions to him, if they had trusted him to provide the answers they needed. Instead, they betrayed his trust and introduced death into this world.

The last four are on the list because they were designed to do nothing but introduce a spirit of fear into our lives.

“for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7

“For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’”  Romans 8:15

Notice the wording. I will spare you the in-depth lesson in Greek. It is enough that you know that this is not simply an emotional reaction, the Bible clearly connects the feeling with spirit and, even, bondage that is only overcome through our Father’s mercy and love.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”  1 John 4:18

So if we love God perfectly or are even making the attempt to grow in that love, why would we invite fear into our lives?

2.) We invite demons into our lives through disobedience, which is exactly what playing these sorts of games is - disobedience. Each and every time we reject God’s authority over our lives to do as we wish we are inviting demonic forces to take his place. Now, I know that we come up with a hundred and one reasons we are bending the rules to get our way, but the truth is we are just being rebellious – and do you know what the Bible equates with rebellion?

Yeah, that would be witchcraft. And what do witches do? They play with demons.

(And just in case you were feeling a little smug about the fact you did not play the “Charlie, Charlie” game, let me help you with that attitude. Speeding, cheating on your taxes, fantasizing about the cute girl/guy at the gym, and feeling smug – all forms of disobedience and rebellion, and therefore, types of witchcraft.)

Q. So were Christians right to issue a warning when it all turned out to be movie marketing?

A. Yes, because no matter what the source of the ritual, participants are sending out a message to the demonic realm.  1.) We will put your words above God’s. 2.) We are not living under the reign or authority of God and willingly rebel against his command.

Q. Don’t we look like fools for getting tricked into a reactionary response?

A. Yes, but if you are truly living your faith according to Scripture looking like a fool should be standard operating procedure. It is the price of admission – we claim to serve a zombie, people! We look crazy to the outsiders, just accept it and go on. Life gets much easier when we do.

Q. How do demons know the right answer to the questions?

A. Got me, and it is not really something I worry about. However, since a lot of people do, I should offer this caveat. Demons only know partial answers and they lie. Basing any life choice on their revelations is dangerous and stupid.

There is Jewish story about Joseph and Potiphar’s wife that tells a bit more than what we have recorded in the Bible. While I cannot claim it is factual, it serves an excellent lesson.

It was said that Potiphar’s wife consulted a medium (fortune teller, witch, soothsayer, etc.) concerning her future. She was told that she would have a child with her husband’s Hebrew slave named Joseph and the child would be the start of a great nation. In her excitement and desire for glory, she pursued Joseph shamelessly and when she was rejected accused him of rape. After Joseph is released, reunited his family, and raised to second in command of all Egypt, the Pharaoh presents him with a wife, Asenath daughter of Potiphera who was traditionally believed to be the same Potiphar whose wife attempted to seduce Joseph. (Genesis 41:45)

The moral of this story is that the words of the demons who speak to mediums may have some element of truth, even a sense of the future, but it is never to be trusted.

Q. So what do I do if I (or my child) played the game?

A. You ask God’s forgiveness for seeking another before him. You repent and refuse to engage in further behavior like this. And this I believe is the most important part – the Bible says that God inhabits the praise of his people. So you fill you home and life with his presence through authentic praise of who he is and what he has done so that you might know him. If your child has played this game, explain to them these principles and share with them the stories the Biblical stories of victory over the demonic. Do not communicate fear, but rather celebrate the fact Jesus has defeated the enemy. Discuss the need for self-control and empower them to stand against the darkness through knowing God through his Word.

Q. Have I completely destroyed my relationship with God by playing?

A. No. You just set it back a bit, but God has promised forgiveness and restoration for all who seek him out. To say that he will not do this for someone who has played this game is to deny the power of the cross, so cling to the truth of his love.