Everything Happens For A Reason - An Emily Rant

Ya’ll need to hold on to your hats and buckle up for this one. I have had it, and I am gearing up to sound harsh, judgmental, and downright mean, but you know what? I don’t give a flying rip.

Yesterday, I sat with a woman in tears. And if you know me, you know I would just assume you pull my fingernails out rather than try to comfort someone sobbing their eyes out about how their life is falling apart, but I did because while I can be rather cold hearted at times, I thought it was the right thing to do. I let her go until she calmed down, and then she said something to me that made me want to slap her – “I have been doing everything right and following all the things that God has told me to do, and not breaking any of the rules he has laid out for my life. I just want to know when is it going to be my turn to get blessed?”

Seriously? Sister, I know your life, and I can tell you that first sentence is a flat out lie. I don’t know if it is one you bought into, one you manufactured in that little messed up mind, or if you really believe that you are without sin, but, sweetie, honey, you have not been doing what God told you to do, and you are definitely not doing everything right.

Now, let me just clarify that I do NOT believe that doing everything right is a prerequisite for receiving God’s blessing. That’s just bad theology. The truth is God gives us way more than anyone of us deserves.

Somebody is whining, “What about the starving children in Africa? Did they deserve that?” Come on, let’s get real for a second. Number one that is stupid cop out when I just watched you have a meltdown over the fact your cable is getting cut off. You don’t give a rip about the starving kids in Africa or you would send that $50+ a month to making sure that at least a few of them got fed. You start doing that and we will talk about the kids in Africa. Until then stop using them as some great gift from the cosmos to avoid my second point.

Which is – God is holy. Let me unpack that for you, it means that he is so much greater and more than you and I will comprehend. He set apart, wholly other, and apart from his decision to love us has no cause to become entangled in this mess of a world that we inhabit. He only does so because for some inexplicable reason he has decided he desires to know and be known by us. Any revelation of himself that may be deign to give us should bring us to our knees in awe, but we are such self-centered buffoons that we think we are doing him some sort of favor by reposting Bible verses on Facebook.

But back to my friend and her little problem, or should I say friends and their little problems?

The truth is a whole lot of you are buying into the same damn lie that you are a good person who deserves better than life doled out to you. That just because you haven’t murdered someone God should be scraping and bowing to you for such restraint, but the all the while you are doing what you please, when you please with the rest of your life.

Oh, sure you will send me a message lamenting the fact that your husband is a douche bag, but neglect to tell me you have been slipping around with a guy on the side. You will tell me how awful it is you don’t have money to feed your kids or your dog, but I can see that bag of weed in your car. You will tell me how everyone is so mean to you, but you can’t be bothered to show the slightest courtesy to anyone you don’t think has the means to help you. You will bemoan the fallen state of this world, but when is the last time you fed or found shoes for someone in dire need of both or either?

You see, I am running out of patience and mercy for each and every one of you claiming to be a Christian but only act as if it is some type of game token you get to trade in for stuffed bunny. I am fed up with all of you who want to act as if you are the victim of some grand and cosmic plot to ruin your life just because you didn’t get the lollipop or the gold star.

Life is hard, and a life of faith is harder. It demands things of you that will make you uncomfortable, that  will make you hurt, and will make you bleed. The life of faith is a life of sacrifice, and I am not talking about throwing an extra twenty in the offering plate. Big whoop! Do you thing that God needs your money? Do think he will be bribed or bought off? Exactly how small is your god anyways?

No, the God of the Bible demands more. He demands you, all of you. That includes your time, your energy, your money, and yes, even your sexuality. He wants it all, and he has laid out some very simple rules about how you give it to him. Rules that you don’t get to rewrite or ignore because they are inconvenient or uncomfortable. Rules that you don’t get to wave away or water down when they get in the way of your supposed happiness. Rules that were put in place to make sure that nothing gets between you and the God who should be the most important thing in your life.

Am I saying that following the rules gets you salvation? No, I am not. I am saying that when you truly get it through your thick head and hardened heart that God loves you, and I mean stupid passionately loves you, you want to return that love. You want to do the things that please him, and you will ruthlessly rip out everything in your life that stands between you and him. You fight anyone and anything that threatens to intrude upon that relationship, and you will not be content with giving him anything less than your everything because you realize that he is your everything.

So that internet flirtation? It has got to stop. The extra pens from the office that fall into your purse? Need to stop coming home with you. Cussing the slow driver in front of you? Not an option. The addiction that controls your life? Suck it up, and get the help you need to get over it. The guy or gal that you keep tripping over on your way out of a bed you should have never been in?  Who said our faith didn’t require human sacrifice? Time to give them up too.

Look, the point is that it doesn’t matter what it is that you think it is your right to have or what you deserve. I can guarantee you aren’t getting either one right now. And the only reason you aren’t is that in God’s infinite mercy he has decided to give you a little more time and space to get with the program. For some of us, he’s turning up the heat. He’s letting us bear the consequences of our bad decisions, and he is letting us reap the harvest of the lies we sowed. He is not doing it because he is cruel or unfair. He is doing it because he loves us, and he wants us to see how our actions have not been honoring either to him or to ourselves. He is helping us understand that everything he requires of us is for our good, not his because he is already good. And oh yeah, changing course can hurt and if usually comes at a pretty high cost to our pride and comfort, but God was never a fan of pride and the peace he offers is makes comfort look like worn out blanket left on the side of the road.

And hey, if you want all this stuff you think you deserve, go on and get it. He will let you have it, but stop whining when he doesn’t miraculously show up to make things easy on you. For while God’s love is unconditional, expressions of that love are not. And demanding that he bless you while you wallow in your sin is like demanding your spouse be faithful while you act like the town bicycle. So you choose, but think about the decision you are making and have enough backbone to be honest about what you are choosing.

Transliteration Or That Word, I Don't Think It Means What You Think It Means

When the girls were little we did not have “bad words” in our house. I did this for two reasons: 1. I do not believe any word is inherently bad. 2. I did not want them growing up in a perfectly sanitized bubble, and to later be unable to function in a world that uses what so many consider to be offensive language. However, this is not to say that we did not have rules for the language they used. They were just little more unique than what you might find in most Christian homes. They were as follows:

1. In order to use a word, you must know the definition. Not what you think it means, not what your friends tell you it means, and never just because you think it makes you sound more educated than what you truly are.

2. In order to use a word, you must know the proper context in which to use it. To clarify this I used the example of swim suits and church. Obviously, you would never wear a swim suit to church, but conversely, you would not wear your church dress to the lake.

3. (And this was THE non-negotiable rule.) You should always respect your audience. In other words, while mama might not care that you referred to a body part as your butt, grandma will. So you do NOT do it in her presence because that is disrespectful to your audience.

I imposed these rules in my house because they made sense to me. However over the course of the past week, I have been reminded that not everyone adheres to these simple ideas of communication. I don’t get it. I really don’t, and I particularly don’t get why more people don’t follow the first rule as a matter of responsible communication.

Look, I am not stupid. I know that the entirety of the world did not get the benefit of all my wondrous wisdom and did not get the benefit of having these rules were explicitly explained, but really? Who needs to be told that you should know the definition of a word before you use it in public? We have dictionaries, people! You can even look up words online! It is the simplest thing in the world, really. Just go to your favorite search engine, type in the word that has caused you doubt (or should have caused you doubt), and add this magical word afterwards – “definition”, and boom! Out of the wonders of the universe, the definition of the word from multiple dictionaries will appear on your screen. Click one! Or better yet, click two or three!

I am also not writing this post because I am just generally outraged at the stupidity of humanity. I am writing this post because three times in the last week, I have had people defend idiotic notions based on the argument that they were reading a word or verse from the Bible that had been TRANSLITERATED.

Allow me to put to help you out – NO! No you have not! You do not possess any English Bible that has been transliterated.

Now, I am not correcting you because I am some horrible witch of a woman who wants to shame you. I am correcting you because every time you open your mouth to defend OUR faith you are making all of us look stupid. Please, allow me to help us all out by enlightening you to the truth.

And that truth is this – you should never use a word when you do not know the proper meaning. It completely invalidates the rest of your argument as it tells me and the rest of the world that you will say the first nonsensical thing that floats through your mind to vindicate whatever foolish thought you may have – without any thought or consideration to the truth or facts. Furthermore, it is a huge red flag that you are not above trying to bully another person with the illusion of superior wisdom. You are just the type of person that should never be allowed to represent the Christian faith. Seriously, this is where you should thank God above that he is far more gracious than I will ever be.

Now if you care to actually learn a thing or two, and aren’t caught up in your pride, allow me to give you the proper definition of “transliterate”. Better yet, allow me to link you to some very well respected dictionaries that will tell you the definition, because I never want you to take my word for it. I actually want you to learn, to know, and to grow in maturity and faith.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/transliterate

http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/transliterate

Since I know that definitions can sometimes be confusing allow me to provide an example:

Chari

Do you know what that word means? Unless you have studied Greek, I am going to bet that you don’t. It means grace. Yup, grace that sounds nothing like the Greek word χάρη. Why? Because grace is not a transliteration, it is a translation, and translations are different than transliterations. Chari is a transliteration, grace is a translation, but don’t take my word for it, here are couple of links for the definition to translation:

http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/translation

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/translation

Now that you have seen the difference, I hope that you will understand that the English Bible you hold in your hands is not a transliteration. It is a translation. Why? Because it would make absolutely no sense to anyone who did not read the original language. And even then, why would you write a language that someone knows in an entirely different alphabet than the one that they had to learn in order to learn that language in the first place? It make no sense. None. Nada. Zip. Transliterations are provided so that you, an English speaking individual, can know how to pronounce the word in its original language. They are not a substitute to actually knowing a language that you do not speak. In fact, I can think of few things less foolish than transliterating an ancient text into a full volume.

So the next time you feel like defending the your view points, and let us be clear that is precisely what you are doing - defending your views and not the Bible, you might want to rethink any temptation you might feel to make yourself look smarter by using words whose definitions you clearly do not know. Because all you are really doing is putting your stupidity on display for the entire world to see.

God Is A Liar - An Emily Rant For My So Called Christian Friends

It is very popular right now to say that you are a Christian. However, just saying that isn’t enough to let you win the contest. You have to add the proper caveats. You have to affirm that Jesus was all about love and peace and forgiveness. You have tell how you aren’t the kind of Christian who judges anyone and that we all have our individual paths to follow in this journey of faith. You have clarify that you do not take the Bible literally or that you are not foolish enough to believe the decrees of an archaic book addresses the social issues of our age. And if you really want to take first place, you have to say it with a bit of scorn for those who do.

Now, I am going say few things that are not all that popular, things that will make me appear foolish to my more sophisticated and enlightened brothers and sister, things that won’t win me any ribbons at that politically correct pageant of faith, and I am going to say them without apology or concern for winning any congeniality prizes.

The god worshipped by those who add all those proper caveats is not the God of the Bible. No matter how much we want to believe it, it simply cannot be true. Somewhere along the way we have bought into the lie that God is all about our happiness and personal fulfillment. We have defined him as the God of Love, Peace, and Joy and cannot imagine him as anything bigger or greater than a God who adheres to our definitions of what love, peace, and joy are supposed to be.

The thing is when we start serving a God that we have defined, even if that definition is based on our favorite Bible verses, we really aren’t serving him. We are serving ourselves. When we start saying that the things I like and the things that make me feel good are the only things he wants us to have, we aren’t let him be Lord.

Like it or not, God isn’t all that concerned with the things you like or even the things that make you feel good, because believe it or not your hurt feelings aren’t the highest thing on his list of priorities. They only rate number one on your list which might be a reason to ask, who are you really serving? God or the god of your emotions?

But, but, but, someone is whining, Jesus was all rainbows and butterflies. He love, peace, and harmony. He wants me to be happy and find personal fulfillment in how he created me.

Uhm, no. He wasn’t and he didn’t, at least not at the cost of truth. He even told us that – I mean, he literally spoke the words telling us that this is a false idea. And we would know that if we ever read anything other than Christian motivational poster and internet memes. Consider these verses: (And while you’re at it, you might want to flip on over to chapter 10, because he gets even more hardcore in that passage.)

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man to if gains the whole world and loses his life? Or what shall a man give in return for his life?” Matthew 16: 24-26

Do you see the words there? Deny yourself. Deny what you are, what you want, what you think is going to bring you joy – deny it. Take up your cross. This doesn’t mean go out and buy some gaudy necklace, or slapping some pious sticker on your car. A cross wasn’t a thing of beauty it was a torture device that ended in death, and you need to pick yours up, and follow him. And where did that path lead? To Golgotha, the hill of the skull, a mountain drenched in the blood, urine, and feces of those who died there. Does this sound like rainbows and butterflies to you?

Sure you can reach out and have your best life now. You can discover who you really and live that life to the fullest, but if you truly believe that Jesus is Lord then you have to accept that following that path means you will eventually lose everything you gain for yourself. Why? Because everything that owes its existence to flesh will die with the flesh, and this is why who you are must not be the creation of your inborn fleshly desires. The flesh cannot create the eternal, and the eternal owes nothing to efforts of the flesh. Paul put this way:

So then brothers we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. . .and if children, then heirs – heirs of God and coheirs with Christ provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. Romans 8:12-14,17

The problem is we have a lot people who are calling themselves Christian and never denying themselves one thing, never putting to death the deeds of the body so that they might live by the Spirit. And there are some of you who are reading this and shaking your heads yes, agreeing with all that I have said while pointing your finger at the other guy, and almost yelling, “I know who she is talking about!”

The truth is I am talking about us all, because each and every one of us has some area of our lives where we have ignored God’s command to eradicate certain behaviors or ideas. Some of us have reasoned our way around Scripture, citing science and progress as a vindication for ignoring his commands. Some of us have equated love with placating and appeasement, so that we can declare that a God of Love would never ask us to know the pain of trying to change who we are. Some of us have just dressed up our pet sin as a morality so that we can still enjoy a sense of smug superiority while being jerk to the rest of the world.

Look, trusting in God means trusting in everything he said. If we start picking and choosing which of his words we are willing to believe or cast aside based on our delicate sensibilities, we are doing nothing more than calling God a liar. We are saying that I am smarter, wiser, and more loving than God ever was – and if knowing that does not cause you to tremble, you need to check your faith because it is not what you say it is and you are not who you say you are.

The child of a true King does not dishonor him before the world, the child of a great King does not try invalidate his Father’s words, and the child who truly loves his Father will not betray that love through persistent disobedience, even if you supposedly have a great excuse. So tell the world that you like some of the pretty bits of his book, tell them how there are some great moral and ethical teachings to be found in the Christian faith, explain why you have a certain fondness for our ideas, but if you are not actively working to follow his demands to deny yourself, to put to death the deeds of the body, stop lying to yourself and the rest of the world.

And, yes, he is the God of Love but a love so big, so grand, that it compels us to become more than we were so that we might receive it and live it. Who we are, as we are, will never be big enough to do that, and that is why demands so much, and yet so little, from us.

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Should I Have Been Nice? - An Emily Rant

I am supposed to act like this.

The other day I got a phone call from someone who wanted to comment on my one of my posts. His words were sweet and encouraging, full of praise and support for “dealing with life’s harder issues.” You would think that this sort of thing would make me happy, but the truth is the longer he prattled on the more irritated I became. He explained to me why he never commented, liked or shared any of my writings. He didn’t want to give people the wrong idea about him or that he might be dealing with any of the issues I address in my posts, but he sure did want to bless and encourage me, just not publicly.

I think it was about the eighth time he said, “thank you for being brave enough to take on these issues” that my unruly mouth slipped its leash, and I heard myself say, “I’m glad one of is.” Needless to say, the conversation was soon over.

When I feel like this!

I know. I know. I was more than just a bit rude, and I shouldn’t have been. There were far more tactful ways to deal with what his words were stirring up inside of me. My problem is I usually only remember that after I have spouted off something less than kind. Believe me, I am working on it, but give me a little grace because it is a work in progress. And if I want to be real honest, I will admit that it probably always will be.

I have been thinking about the conversation a lot, wondering why it made me mad and wondering how I could have handled it better. So far this is what I have come up with:

I started dealing with “life’s harder issues” at time when my marriage was imploding. My ex-husband’s addiction to pornography had reached epic levels, leaving him unable to hold down a job as it interfered with his viewing schedule. I had ceased to exist as woman in his eyes and was considered to be just another obstacle between him and what he really desired. The verbal and emotional abuse was escalating to physical and sexual, and death fantasies became my favorite escape – his or mine, I didn’t care.

The great thing about reaching this level is other people’s opinions no longer matter. Societal constraints become nothing more than spider webs to be slapped aside.

So I started asking questions, contradicting statements, and generally being rude. I would be lying if I said I didn’t find a certain amount of entertainment in people’s shock, but the truth is I wasn’t doing it for that. There were so many truths I need to know if I was ever to return to the land of the living as something other than a shell of a person, and even though I thought I was ready to check out of this world there has always been some part of me ready for a fight. And it soon became apparent that I was in the fight of my life.

The funny thing about questions is that if you want to know the answer there is a pretty good chance that half the people you know want to know the same thing, but just haven’t worked up the nerve to say the words out loud.  It didn’t take long before women started approaching me off to the side, with nervous glance to make sure that no one could overhear. They told me about how their husbands used porn, how there had been violence in their homes, how they had been given the same “stay married and pray” advice I had received, and how they felt like there was no one willing to talk about these things because it was all just too uncomfortable in the church setting.

However, it didn’t make everyone happy with me. I learned from a friend that when she started attending the church I was that she had been warned about me. I learned from another friend that it was thought I had drug problem, and I heard from a third that I caused my husband’s addiction to porn because I had emasculated him with my sharp mouth. Christians can be so sweet.

Every day now, I receive emails, text, and messages over social media from women and men who are facing the same issues I did. They have the same questions I asked and they are facing the same stony faced silence or that condescending “we will just pray for you, dear” attitude I got. I hear from people whose faith is being eroded by Christians who are misrepresenting God and how he responds to our problems. I talk to abuse victims who are terrified of the shame and stigma that comes with divorce. I talk to women who are experts at hiding bruises and men who are terrified of losing everything if the truth comes out so they never seek the help they need except through a stranger who happened to write a book.

Guys and gals, I do not have this covered! There is only one of me and so many of you! The conversations are icky and uncomfortable – you try talking to a 70+ year old man about his chronic masturbation problem, I know!  I have been there. You have try having a pastor contact you on how to deal with a woman in his church who has shown up multiple times with a black eye or swollen lip, or answer a 12 year old’s question about anal sex. I do it all the time, but not because I am an expert. The only thing I have going for me is the fact I lived through my hell and came out the other side scrapping for answers.

I get frustrated and angry that we have become so ashamed of this gift of sexuality that God has given us. My blood pressure boils when I hear some pat and cliché answer proffered to someone who is real need, and I get so tired of being shushed by those who are embarrassed to speak truth into other’s lives. God never did that to anyone! He was bold and truthful. Jesus didn’t look at the lepers or the man at the pool, pat their heads and say, “I’ll pray for you.” He acted and he acted in truth and love – and love without truth is no better than a dollar sympathy card.

Pawning off our responsibility to follow in Jesus’ example is crock and a coward’s way out of what we have been called to be. Expecting someone else to deal with the harder issues of life so we can avoid them is laziness, and the next time you feel tempted to avoid a few words that make you uncomfortable, I hope you remember the cross and humiliation washes over you until you choke.

Could I be a little nicer? Should I have been a little nicer to the man on the phone? Maybe, but maybe too many of us are worshipping “nice” when we should have been worshipping God.

When Our Scars Offend

Warning Emily Rant -

I have become very comfortable telling my story over the past few years. I love empowering others by sharing what I learned about myself, my faith, and my God as I healed from the wounds left by an abusive marriage.

The stigma so many victims experience has been something I believed I had left in the dust, but today I was confronted by one who believed that my past still defined me. I was informed my medical issues stemmed from this past abuse, a trick of the mind and emotions manifesting in physical pain with "no real physiological reason."

I was shut down and ignored because I was honest about my past when questioned. This event served as a rude but effective reminder of how our culture tempts us to define ourselves according to our wounds. How we are pressured into seeing ourselves as nothing more than the deepest gash or hardest punch we have ever endured.

I find this to be offensive because my wounds do not define me nor does my abuser have the right to dictate all that I am allowed to be. I will always carry the scars from those days, there will be some tender places, and I may even flinch occasionally, but there is healing - wonderful, amazing healing!

I refuse to cover my scars. I carry them with a certain amount of pride, not so that others can pity me as victim, but so that they too can know healing is possible. I am honest about my past because for some it is their present, and my hope is that for others it shall never be their future.

I was labeled and shoved into a convenient box today. The broken and wounded are easier to deal with, the proper response of pity or disdain is hard wired in our being. We are merely a problem to fix or ignore depending on your temperament, but healed, the victorious survivor is an unpredictable creature at best. We are a challenge to the world, declaring that we will not be destroyed or controlled by another. We force those around us to grapple with possibility that one must take responsibility for their lives and actions because we did. In the midst of doubt, pain, and fear we chose to become someone greater than our wounds. We rob others of the excuse not to do the same with their unbroken lives.

A Love Story

Warning Emily Rant:

I want to tell you little story.

Once upon a time there was sweet little gal who fell in love. Her whole heart was given over to a man who promised to love her forever. She adored him and was willing to do whatever it took to be with him. Then one day the man smacked the crap out of her for hanging his clothes up incorrectly.

Now most of you would say this is a good place for their story to end, but it didn't. You see, she loved him and you can't chose who you love.

She knew this to be true because that is what she had been told her whole life. Everyone agreed that she was at the mercy of her heart and that to betray love was a grievous sin. So she stayed, and he doled out punishments for each and every infraction of his ever changing code. If she rinsed the dishes wrong, failed to stay in the proper part of the house, or grabbed the wrong wrench when helping him fix the car, he made certain that she paid - right up until the night she dared to repeat something she had read about the 1970's oil crises that he deemed to be worthy of strangulation.

That was the night that she realized that she loved something else more - her two kids, and she called the cops.

Now why would I share this little snippet about my life? Because it is an excellent illustration about how damaging our society's favorite lie is in the lives of people who chose to believe and how we apply with great hypocrisy when it suits our needs.

And what are our needs?

Our need to justify our actions and selfishness in the name of love.

There has been a lot written about the irresistible power of love, how we can't chose who we love, and why we must never question or challenge the right of one person to love another. We have been indoctrinated with idea since we were children, had it reinforced as teens, and try to live our lives according to it as adults. And over and over again, this lie has destroyed lives and damaged far too many of us to count.

Yet, we keep telling ourselves it is true. We cling to it as if it were the only hope of happiness in this world, all the while suffering from ill begotten relationships that may quite literally be killing us.

We want it to be true, but we only want it to be true for ourselves. We want a justification for why we chase after the married man, the woman that cheats, the person who is so incredibly wrong for us that only something as nonsensical as love can explain.

However, on the flip side, we do not want it to be true for others. We don't want our spouse to suddenly declare that they cannot chose who they love and it happens to be their secretary or personal trainer. We don't want it to be true for our children when they decide to get involved with the drug addict. We don't want it to be true for our friend in the abusive relationship, because for them we can see how harmful submission to this lie can be.

No, we only want it to be true for ourselves. We like the idea that we can cast off any moral or ethical obligations and society will understand, approve even, of our choice. After all, we have bought into the collective lie and we celebrate it - be it in Romeo and Juliet's tragedy or the latest TV show written to condition us further as the lead character accepts that his spouse can no longer make him as happy as his co-worker.

Why do we do this? Selfishness is one great reason, but I think that is only part of the story. I think a bigger piece is the fact that in our minds we have confused attraction with love and made all things sexually appealing synonymous with love. And if this were true and accurate, there would then be some truth and accuracy in the statement that we cannot chose who we love.

Attraction is an unruly beast that often takes us by storm, leaving us to wonder at its intensity and reason. It can be baffling and delightful, the first steps towards love, but few of us stop to consider that attraction is merely that - a biological impulse to draw closer to another whose biology appeals to ours. Looks, pheromones, mannerisms the pluck at some distant memory of someone else we held in high esteem, witty conversation, shared interests, or even just someone who challenges us with their unavailability - all of this can lure us in, give us a high, and according to the standards of our culture mimic this thing called love.

We want this to be love. We want a reason to pursue this sensation and to defend our right to take what we want. So the lie gives us permission. Permission to do and take what we want with thought to the consequences. Permission to avoid responsibility to ourselves and even to the very one we claim to love. Permission to let our bodies and desires to rule our entire existence. All because we cannot bear to tell our bodies no, or stand the pain of bringing our minds into submission to something greater than ourselves.

And today, we see the fall out of our choices all around us. Yet, we never stop to think that it is all because we chose to believe in a lie that we have called beautiful. And we will forever be at its mercy until we discover the power of true love and chose it instead - even when it hurts.

Confession Of An Irate Christian, or Why Can't You Just Agree With Me?

Emily Rant or, perhaps, a lament?

I recently had a conversation where I tried to explain why Christians are not the same as other people. I talked about how our values, morals, ethics, and very way of life is radically different from the people around us. I told how there are certain behaviors that we engage in and others that we avoid. I shared how our relationship with God compelled us to be set apart from the crowds and why we are to identified by this distinct state.

The person I was talking to became irate - irrational, even, refusing to acknowledge these things. In their opinion Christians were no different - worse, in some cases, than the people around them. I reminded them that simply claiming the title without modifying your life accordingly did not necessarily make one a Christian. I was still met with belligerent anger as they refused to see my point.

And that's when I, with all the love of Jesus in my heart, was overcome with the desire to smack them up side the head with my Grandpa's Bible - because his is significantly bigger than mine. I felt the sting of righteous indignation as I fought down the urge to choke this idiot out so that they might know the goodness of The Lord, and above all things I wanted to drive their foolishness far from them with a rod of correction.

Instead, I broke off the conversation because assault charges aren't in my immediate plans. Yet, hours later I was still fuming that anyone would choose to miss such a simple point - not all people claiming to be Christians are really Christians and if you do not see a life marked with integrity, love, compassion, grace, and mercy then chances are you dealing with a liar, fraud, or hypocrite. Surely, a little violence could be excused to drive home such a valid point?

Okay, yeah, I get that there is a huge disconnect between what I was saying and what I was thinking/feeling in that moment. I get that punching someone repeatedly in the throat so that they will acknowledge the life changing power of the love of Jesus isn't exactly the most credible means of communication. I was just mad, mostly at not being met with immediate agreement, but mad that I was being exposed as a rather small individual.

I, also, realized on reflection that I'm mad at other Christians too. I'm mad at each and everyone of us who lived lives that fail to uphold the standards of faith in such a way that we are unmistakably recognizable to the outside world as people whose lives have been radically changed by an encounter with the living God. I'm mad that our faith is only skin deep and if you scratch the surface you only find ugly, self-serving thoughts, and I'm mad that when faced with resistance our tempers rival that of a hooker who got stiffed. I'm mad that we are known more for our rage at the "world" and less for our conviction or desire to change the faults in our own lives.

I'm mad that we've stopped living our lives with integrity and excellence, as a service and witness to our King, and have chosen instead to justify our behaviors by blaming circumstance, mood, or barometric pressure. I'm mad because we have made everyone else other than God more important than God when we allow their behavior to dictate our feelings and actions. I'm mad that we will check our behaviors by how they will sound on Facebook, but we never stop to consider if they are up to the standard of THE BOOK. I'm mad that the actions and words of people who do not share our faith shame us into conforming to their image far more effectively than our relationship with our Lord motivates us to be conformed to his image.

You see, I shouldn't be surprised or angered that someone who doesn't share my faith doesn't see the distinction between Christians and everyone else. Why should they? Especially since most of us haven't either.

The Dangers of Dabbling in Faith

Warning - Emily Rant Ahead!

Don't you hate it when you are so right about something and NO ONE IS LISTENING! Well, welcome to my life.

For years now, I have told people curious about my faith that you can't half way do this thing called Christianity. Oh you can try and put up a fairly convincing facade IF you buy the right bumper stickers, nauseating t-shirts, and latest big seller in the book Christian book kiosk at Wal-mart. You know the ones filled with fuzzy feel good pop psychology with a few of the Bible's pretty parts thrown around it for decoration.

But the truth is a little religion will DO NOTHING BUT MAKE YOU MISERABLE! Let's be real, playing the game is tiresome. You spend all your time saying no to the stuff you really want to do and trying to do all the things "those religious folks" think you should be doing. Nothing like playing "keeping up with the Jones'" and calling it faith.

In addition, you get the "privilege" of carrying around a ton of guilt and condemnation that YOU CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT. To try to alleviate some of your discomfort, you invariably start throwing your guilt on others - condemning them for not being a good enough Christian and all the while covering your envy with self-righteous snobbery. What's worse, it's a game we can all get pretty good at and so we keep it up because we think we are winning.

Why? Because we are comparing ourselves to our neighbors. We measure our righteousness by the guy on TV, the drunk down the street, and the single mom with three baby daddies in question. Compared to those folks, we are winners and it feels good to be a winner. And isn't that what life is all about winning?

Sorry to break it to you, but no. In the Christian faith, it's about losing. It's about losing our sense of entitlement, our superior attitude, our fear, and our eventually even our lives the way Christ showed us as he walked this earth.

But you can't do any of this if you are just dabbling in faith. It doesn't work because dabblers are focused on what they are doing and how well they are doing it. Faith, real faith, is more concerned about what God is doing and how you can join in what he's doing.

Real faith is fueled by relationship and empowered by his presence. Dabblers don't have that - all they get is a list cold, hard, impossible rules. Is it any wonder so many are embittered towards Christians when all they've seen are dabblers? And all they've experienced is the weight of societal demands?

The joy of our faith is the privilege to know God, to walk in relationship with the Creator of the Universe! I don't care who you are if you think about the ramifications of that statement, and you aren't made of stone, that is exciting. If you choose to make that relationship a reality, you change and the rules become guidelines and beacons for how to chase this thing that has brought you freedom.

Yes, freedom! And the drudgery of shallow religion slips away.
But now, you don't have to take my word for it. It seems some real scientists and researchers have figured this out. Check out the article in the link below.


http://www.patheos.com/blogs/frenchrevolution/2014/07/16/when-is-religion-terrible-for-marriage-when-theres-only-a-little-of-it/

Did you decide to be a prophet?

Time for an Emily rant! If you have to go around telling the world that you are a "prophet of God" and demanding the respect you think you deserve - time to check your credentials and take another look at that job description, honey.

No one chooses to be a prophet. No one who truly understands the gravity and dangers of speaking on behalf of God decides this sounds like more fun than a trip to Disney World. Most Biblical prophets argued with God seeking some way to avoid this potentially life threatening and often humiliating office.

Prestige and power among their peers was rare, and a life of abject servitude, becoming a living example God's heart break and the abuse he endures from his bride was the norm.

To sum up - if you *decided* this is your job, if you have to announce that this is your job, if you get your kicks giving people *encouraging* words from God, and you are loving the attention your self proclaimed title is getting you - please redirect your Bible study to the book of Jeremiah and pay particular attention to a fellow named Hananiah. You will probably find you relate with him far too well.